Getting Ink

Things that make you go "Oh, grow up for goodness' sake"

Someone opened an email to me this week with the word “Yo”.

The next sentence was about the challenges of retaining control of the HR function during redundancies.

It does make me laugh when PRs try to introduce faux mate-iness into work emails. For example, a fellow hack this week told me they’d received an email from a PR asking if the hack was “around for a gossip”, which is just embarrassing, frankly.

Of course, corporate wankspeak is just as bad. This morning a PR contact actually sent me an email with the words: “Let’s run this up the flagpole and see if it flies”. Er, let’s not. 

At 101 training events, I always make a point of saying PR execs shouldn’t ever use a word with a journalist that their mates in the pub would laugh at. This includes such gems as “herewith”, “facilitate” and 99.5% of instances of the word “dialogue”.

However, don’t go the other way and imagine we are your mates in the pub. Because in most cases we’re not. Communication with a journalist should be simple, direct and straightforward. Anything else and you risk them either not understanding what you mean (someone once asked if their idea was a “snug fit”, and I had no idea what they were on about, so I just deleted the email) or they will  forward the email to people who actually ARE their mates and they’ll laugh at you*

* I have never done this. Obviously.

Why do you do these things to me?

For some reason, it's been a bumper morning for PR nonsense. Is there a full moon? Or are these people just DUMB? 

This morning, I needed to find a contact for an analyst firm in the UK. The website has a generic email address for PR enquiries, but no name or phone number. I'm on a deadline, so I want to speak to someone and know the enquiry is being dealt with, rather than sending an email into the unknown abyss. Not having a press contact on your website? Dumb. 

Next, I do a search of my emails for the analyst firm's name. I turn up two press releases sent in the last month - NO PHONE NUMBER on either press release. Seriously, a major UK PR agency issued a press release without a phone number. That is also dumb.

I find another email from one of the PR execs concerned, this time it has a number. She's on voicemail. Go back to my inbox, search again. Second PR exec on the account also on voicemail. And the third. There's no option to press zero to get reception. So I have to Google the agency name, ring the front desk and ask to be put through to someone on the account. I get put through to the first girl, who is still on voicemail. I decide to give up on that analyst firm.

I phone the press officer in-house at another analyst firm, to find he's on holiday but his voicemail at least says if I have an urgent press enquiry, press 0 now and ask for a colleague. I press 0 and get through to the receptionist who tells me there is nobody else in the UK or even Europe handling press enquiries, and I need to call the US. This is dumb because the US HQ is on West Coast time, so there won't be anybody taking calls until at least 5pm my time. What's even dumber is the receptionist doesn't know the name or number of the US press office, and suggests I look on the website for the generic office number. Gah.

So, if you're hoping journalists will actually, you know, interview your client, here's some tips:

• Have a phone number on the press release. Every time.
• Have a direct contact on the website, not a generic email with no name attached.
• Answer your phone.
• If you can't answer your phone, divert it to a colleague's phone.
• Don't have everyone on an account leave the office at the same time.
• If everyone leaves, divert someone's phone to a mobile.
• If everyone leaves or is in a meeting, let the receptionist know what's going on and when you'll be back.

That'd be great. Thanks.

Another mail merge story...

We've blogged before on Getting Ink about the perils of relying on technology to address your mail for you. But it happens to the best of us - take a look at this story about DWPub (the company that provides Sourcewire, Response Source and FeaturesExec) sending out flyers with genders and names mixed up.

Ellie describes how the flyers from DWPub ("you've got the story, we've got the contacts") arrived with odd names:

• “Miss Ian Lovell”, Comms Officer - I’m guessing this one is for me, Miss Eleanor Lovell
• “Mr Eleanor Fern”, Press Officer - for Richard Fern?
• “Mr Richard Dunn”, Head of Press and Media Relations - for Peter Dunn?
• “Mr Annie Rowley”, Director of Communications - for Ian Rowley our Director?

Daryl has posted the official explanation and apology here.

As invitations go, it's not very inviting...

We live in interesting times. Money's tight, time is short and deadlines are looming. So it usually takes something pretty good to get journalists to switch off the PC and actually, like, leave the office.

So it amazes me that major PR agencies are still sending out invites like this (some details have been changed etc etc):

Hi Sally, hope you are well. I wanted to see if you are available on Weds Oct 8th to come and visit my client XXX's new data centre in Slough. This represents an important part of the company's expansion plans, and reflects a growing demand for hosting services. The event runs from 10am to 3pm and will include:

- a guided tour of the data centre
- an interview with Bob Smith, the CEO of XXX
- lunch and a chance to talk with other attendees

Good grief. Like most tech journalists I visited a data centre once. Once was more than enough. A data centre is a big room, with fans blowing quite loudly, and lots of black servers in cages, with little flashing lights. That's it.

I actually saw Yahoo's server farm at a data centre in Palo Alto, which is probably about as exciting as it gets. And let me tell you, that wasn't particularly exciting. So, why oh why would I take a day out of my life to get on a train and go to see a data centre in Slough?

Seriously, physically SEEING a data centre doesn't add anything to the story. It's still a room with black servers and little flashing lights. I may be wrong - this data centre might have its own roller disco. But I doubt it.

The reality is, if you want to get hacks out of the office to meet your client, you've got two options:

a) make the meeting as convenient, quick and painless as possible. Go to the hack's office, wait in the local Caffe Nero, get the hack to come downstairs for a coffee.

b) have the event where you want it, but make sure there's something there the hack absolutely can't get over the phone, or by email, whether that's a simulation of a specific disaster, a unique interview opp, a goodie bag or just an amazing location.

It's all about the, erm, whatsit, oh yeah, timing!

For the last week the media has been in a positive frenzy about the whole CERN blowing up the world non-story. It's been a huge topic of discussion in my house, but then I have a scientist at Whittle Towers who likes to annoy me with nerdy explanations of how it could all go wrong.

Of course, the Large Hardon Collider (as Will likes to call it) was turned on, and the world didn't come to a cataclysmic end. Okay, nothing to see, move along...

Except, what's this that just bounced into my inbox? It's the lovely PR from HP telling me that their servers were powering CERN and the whole experiment was running on their kit. Isn't that just a bit, well, late*?

Why send me that pitch after the whole thing turned out to be a huge anticlimax? Were you waiting just in case the experiment went wrong and reflected badly on HP? ("HP servers Used to End World"). Or was it that the PR didn't realise that most hacks have the attention span of a goldfish and have already moved on to worrying about something else?

* this also applies to stories about the Olympics. Get over it already.

Start as you mean to go on

Oh, dear.

This press release just landed in my inbox from a PR who I bet is already wishing she'd proofed a bit better. It's for a new beauty gadget (sent to me just for potential inclusion in Personnel Today?) and the press release is supposed to be all about how using it will make you feel better.

Except what the PR actually said was:

There's nothing quite like relaxing and distressing after a hard days work. The new xxxx is the ultimate luxury home pamper product, to use as and when you like in the comfort, and privacy, of your own home.

Can anyone spot the teeny mistake? (apart from the missing apostrophe, obviously)

When a picture speaks a thousand words...

I talk an awful lot about pictures at 101 training events. That's because newspapers and magazines (and websites, to some extent) are visual products and journalists/editors put a lot of time into thinking about how their products will look, and how that will appeal to readers.

So, if you have a really, truly amazing picture, it's sometimes worth bypassing reporters entirely and selling it to the picture desk of a newspaper. Or when pitching the story to a reporter, mention what sort of pictures you have available. That picture over there? Is not a really, truly amazing picture.

It is, however, one of the seven images (totalling 4MB) that were sent out by a local government press officer this afternoon, regarding the opening of a boat station of some description. It was sent to a blind press list, with a forwarded press release from several days ago, and the images. The headline?  "PICTURE OPPORTUNITY". Talk about over-selling a story.

Things Journalists Hate #1: The Invisible PR

I've decided to start an occasional series about things that tend to put journalists in a bad mood (I know, it's gonna be a looooooong list, right?)

Top of my list for today? Invisible PRs. Those PR execs who refuse to be found, or who pop up only to turn tail and hide for no apparent reason.

Today, I have been writing a piece for Personnel Today. It's quite a big magazine if you're in the business of selling things to HR managers. A week ago I emailed the press officers at three of the biggest consulting firms in this sector.

At Company A, my press contact has left the company and there's no other press contact listed on the site. No phone number, no nothing. I emailed my old contact's address, hoping for an auto-reply with his replacement's name - it didn't bounce. Argh. So I mail a PR agency I know represents another part of the business, they forward the request to the agency that handles the HR stuff. This is an agency I've never had particularly great experiences with, and unsurprisingly they replied yesterday to tell me my deadline (next Monday) is too short and they can't help. No interview, no information about their client, no white papers, bylined articles. Nothing.

At Company B, the website doesn't list a press contact or phone number at all. There's a US head office, which can't help, and there's a list of press releases -- but the last one to name a press contact was issued in 2004, and is unsurprisingly now out of date. Switchboard won't put me through to anyone without a name. I fill in the "contact us" form on the website which presumably goes to some underpaid work experience kid because a week later I still haven't heard a sniff.

Company C, meanwhile, replied to me within 24 hours. They arranged a phone interview, sent over some research they'd done on the topic and lined up a customer of theirs that I could speak to. Tomorrow, they've arranged for me to speak to someone at the Health and Safety Executive who they collaborated with on a big survey. Guess which company is going to be all over the feature while the competition won't even rate a mention?

I would understand if this was a magazine where Company A and B weren't relevant, but they are HR consulting firms and this is the biggest HR trade magazine in the country. What's the invisible act in aid of?

Here's my 5 top tips on how to not be invisible:

1. Google your client's name plus UK PR agency - does your company pop up? If not, why not?
2. Check your client's website. Is there a named press contact from the agency? Is there a dedicated email that directs enquiries straight to a press officer or the PR agency?
3. Do you put contact details at the bottom of press releases? It helps a lot if you do this, really.
4. We know sometimes you don't want to publish client lists on your agency website so how about setting up an online press centre? You can then vet journalists before giving them access to the site, which should list clients, most recent releases and relevant contact details.
5. If you're representing a global company and (as in the tech sector) they're headquartered in Palo Alto, please don't let the client only have a West Coast contact number. If we're looking for comment we don't want to wait until 5pm to reach the US press office, to get a number for a UK contact who we've now missed for the day.

What's better than a spam PR mail?

So, what's better than getting a pitch from a PR firm that's not very interesting?

a) a pitch from a travel PR firm when you've never covered travel?
b) a pitch from a travel PR firm when you've never covered travel, complete with a 5.7MB attachment?
c) a pitch from a travel PR firm when you've never covered travel, complete with a 5.7MB attachment, and with the added loveliness of getting your name wrong?

Sigh...

You know what your client does, right?

I was working on a feature last week about mainframes. For anyone who wants a technical explanation of what a mainframe is, here goes: it's a REALLY big computer. My article was looking at a specific way of using REALLY big computers to replace loads of little computers. (I know, it sounds like a right riveting read, doesn't it?)

Anyway, I got loads of help from various people, and I managed to get the article done at breakneck speed, so thanks to all involved. However, reading this post about horrid journos who interview people and don't use quotes, I'm reminded of a call I took last week where I interviewed someone for half an hour knowing full well I would never use the quotes.

The PR pitched me her client, and I wasn't sure her client had anything to do with the REALLY big computer market. Are you sure? I asked. Oh yes, says the PR, in fact my client is expert in the whole "replacing lots of little computers" market on all sorts of computer. Okay, so we did the interview.

The interview starts and the chap starts talking about his lovely company. "And how does this relate to mainframes?" I ask. "Well, it doesn't," he replies. Before going on to chat for another 20 minutes about how he thinks little desktop computers are going to change in the next five years. Which is all sort of interesting and nice background, and it's good to know what his company is up to but really? Is naff all to do with my article.

I could have stopped the interview after my first question, when I realised he didn't want to talk about mainframes. But I didn't want to seem rude (weird, I know), I didn't want to drop the PR in it as she'd clearly either misunderstood the brief or misled her client, and it might come in handy sometime. You never know. And if anyone asks me about the little computers, I'm totally ready.